Cynthia (csakuras) wrote,

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More rambling to clear my mind; please ignore

It's 9:30 and I'm on page 242 out of 322 pages. I can do this. But perhaps the journal will have to be completed tomorrow...
This is a good song. Upbeat and inspirational. It's my new courage muse.
Some new people moved in opposite us and they have two dogs. So together with our neighbors' two pitbulls who bark at every movement, I now have four dogs howling all night right outside my bedroom window. Oh joy.
I remember during Sophomore year I kept telling myself I would finish a book by the time I get out of high school. Heh. No such luck. I've been working on my stories for about 5 years now and I'm still on chapter 9 of one and chapter 2 of the other, with dozens of other ideas put on hold. I could possibly tell myself to complete these by the time I finish college (if I can get in), but then I'd probably jinx myself.
Then again, I have my whole life ahead of me, right? But there's always something inside me saying that there's no time. I keep saying time is my worst enemy, and it truly is. I'm afraid I might die young without accomplishing anything, and then people would look at my notes and say 'oh, what a pity, and she had so much potential.' Then my ideas would be thrown out, and my mom would be sad, and my life would be a waste.
Oh well, the sun will swell to a Red Giant in 5 billion years and either swallow the earth or melt it into a ball of molten lava anyway, and all of humanity (if it didn't destroy itself by then) would have to move to Pluto, and then some billion years after that the sun will explode in a Planetary Nebula and Pluto would drift off into empty space without a heat source and we would all die anyway and none of this would matter and I might as well not exist.
....Astronomy can be a rather depressing subject at times....

Oh shoot. I forgot all about my math homework. >

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