Cynthia (csakuras) wrote,

  • Music:

So as I've been saying on Twitter for the past couple of days, I've been skipping ahead and writing Chapter 12 of Sound of Pulling Heaven Down (even though I've still got the last part of Chapter 11 to finish). Chapter 12 has been an absolute joy to write so far and I think content-wise might end up being one of my favorite chapters.

But tonight I've started thinking, OMG, once I'm done with Chapter 12, then Chapter 13 is next, and [spoiler]OMG THE FINAL BATTLE STARTS IN CHAPTER 13 [/spoiler]. Which makes me start feeling anxious because holy crap I've never written something so huge before and I only have a vague idea of how it's going to turn out and the whole thing is so daunting now. Just...HOW THE HELL am I gonna pull this off?!

And then I realize, OMG, once I'm done with Chapter 12, THERE'S ONLY THREE MORE CHAPTERS LEFT. THE STORY IS GOING TO END SOON. BAWWWWW. ;___; And I'm actually getting teary because I've grown attached to this version of Simon & Nia and I love writing them together and once I'm done with this story I won't be able to write them anymore because they're exclusive to this AU universe. I mean I could write other versions of Simon/Nia but it won't be exactly the same because they would have developed differently.

Again, this is all pretty stupid because I'm technically still on Chapter 11 and at the rate I'm going, it's going to take me months before I even get to Chapter 13. And I already get teary enough over the canon version of the characters, and it would make more sense for me to feel this way if it were about my own original story, not a friggin fanfic. I'm no J.K.Rowling.

I mean jeez, the main reason I'm writing fanfic is because I want to see these characters in more adventures, so being mopey about a fanfic version of the characters not being in any more adventures kinda defeats the point.

*sniffle* :(

But yeah, don't be surprised if I stuff more fluff than necessary into those final chapters, because THAT'S ALL I'LL HAVE LEFT OF THEM. I'll also try to cope by having fun with the Simon & Nia in Days of Thunder. Yeah...they start out younger so I should have more time to play with them and develop them however much I want. But it won't be the saaaaaame!

...Now let's see if I can get myself to work on Chapter 11 more today. >_>
Tags: fanfiction

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