Cynthia (csakuras) wrote,
Cynthia
csakuras

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reflecting...


Okay, so now that I'm no longer stressed out over the summary thing, the whole incident has begun to sink in. And it hurts. I'm actually grieving now...been lying in my bed thinking about what happened and all the things that led up to it, the circumstances of the event, what he must have been feeling throughout the whole thing...God, he was only 16.
I don't like to get angsty!poetic, but my heart aches. Really, this time. I was crying hard yesterday, and now I'm constantly fighting back tears. It seems ridiculous to get so worked up over a fictional character, but when that character is written in a way you get to know him so well, so that you fall in love with even his most obvious faults, and then this happens...
I know it's not definite until we see the next episode, but somehow it's just too much. What did he accomplish? What was the point? The actual death isn't what upsets me (how else could it have ended?), but HOW it happened. I could imagine him sacrificing himself, or dying a hero's death, but this...?
It's not fair. I want to believe in equivalent trade too.

It's embarassing how much I've gotten attached to this show... *sigh* But there's always the manga.
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