Cynthia (csakuras) wrote,
Cynthia
csakuras

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What I've learned in World Literature...

The Epic of Gilgamesh, in brief

Gilgamesh: Mwahaha, blood and sex! BLOOD AND SEX! >D
People of Uruk: D:
Gilgamesh: I am your evil overlord!!
People of Uruk: Gods, please help us.
Gods: k. *create Enkidu*
Enkidu: Grr grr rawr. >E
Farmers: D:
Enkidu: Grr grr HISSS!
Farmers: Gilgamesh, please help us.
Gilgamesh: k. *sends a prostitute*
Enkidu: Grr grr- oooooh. :O
Prostitute: Hey there, big boy. ^.~
Enkidu: TEACH ME SEX, WOMAN.
Prostitute: Oh, just watch, Tarzan. I'll teach you civilization too.
Enkidu: Oops.

Gilgamesh: I am the king, you cannot beat me!
Enkidu: Grr grr grr. >E
Gilgamesh: >E!!
Enkidu: >E!!!
Gilgamesh: >E!!!!!
Enkidu: *loses*
Gilgamesh: Oh hay let's be friends.
Enkidu: OKAY! :D
G+E: *BEST FRIENDS!*
People of Uruk: :D
Gilgamesh: Now let's go kill a giant.
People of Uruk: Er?
Enkidu: But...
Gilgamesh: Come on let's go!
People of Uruk: But...
Gilgamesh: I SAID LET'S GO.
Enkidu: Oh, fine. :/
G+E: *go to Cedar Forest, kill giant, piss off the gods*
Ishtar: Marry me, Gilgamesh!
Gilgamesh: Eww, no. >O
Ishtar: ...>E *sends heavenly bull of DEATH*
People of Uruk: DD:

Enkidu: I'm...dying...
Gilgamesh: D:
Enkidu: This...really...sucks...
Gilgamesh: D:...
Enkidu: Why is it...taking me...so long...to die...?
Gilgamesh: ...*snore*
Enkidu: *DIES*
People of Uruk: GASP.
Gilgamesh: NOOOOOOOOOOO! *ANGSTANGSTANGST!!!*
People of Uruk: He's learned compassion. :O Maybe he'll be a good king NOW?
Gilgamesh: *runs away crying*
People of Uruk: D:

Gilgamesh: *emo* I want to be immortal.
Man-Scorpion: O rly.
Gilgamesh: I want to be immortal.
Siduri: O rly.
Gilgamesh: I want to be immortal.
Urshanabi: O rly. Now take these poles.
Gilgamesh: I want to be immortal. Tell me how to be immortal.
Utnapishtim: You can't. Here's the Story of the Flood instead.
Gilgamesh: But I want to be immortal. :(
Utnapishtim: Then find this plant.
Gilgamesh: *finds it!* :D I shall give this to the old men of Uruk. Only NOT.
Serpent: Yoink!
Gilgamesh: ...D:

Gilgamesh: Okay, I'll be a good king now.
People of Uruk: YAAAAAY!
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