Cynthia (csakuras) wrote,
Cynthia
csakuras

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I finally understand.

WTF. So apparently shame and humiliation leads to enlightenment. Listening to music and angsting over a can of C.C.Lemon, I realized my problem regarding the Masks of Destiny story.
Besides the obvious- it's been years since I've started, naturally my tastes and interests have changed. But mainly, in the process of writing it, the content drifted so far away from my original inspiration that I no longer feel it in my heart. In my youth and inexperience, I twisted the idea into something I don't recognize.
My inspiration was my 8th grade World History class. That was the year I fell in love with ancient history and culture. Our teacher was, to say the least, passionate about the subject, and that meant videos. I sat in that classroom, enthralled at the images of crumbling old temples and magnificent palaces belonging to dead civilizations.
My original idea: What would it feel like to step inside one of these old temples, where thousands of years ago people fought and bled and died for a long-forgotten cause? What if there was a ghost, who is awakened, who becomes aware of what has come to pass? That they died for nothing? What would this ghost do? Who is this ghost? And what if this ghost was given another chance to change things, to change the world to their liking?
THAT is Aqua Tears. THAT is my story. And somehow all this unnecessary crap has seeped in. Even if other people like it, all I see are mistakes. I am going to rewrite this thing completely, so that it matches my original vision. Forget all the sequels, this will be a SINGLE novel. I might even cut Kyra out if I have to. She's not important, Aqua Tears is.
MY story, MY way.
Tags: i suck, writing
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